College Admissions Essay Second Try

An American poet, Albery A. Whitman once wrote, “Adversity is the school of heroism, endurance the majesty of man, and hope the torch of high aspirations.”

This quote is very applicable to my current situation. For example, the adversity that I currently face is the rejection I received from Monmouth University regarding my application to become an undergraduate student. I believe that this adversity could turn me into a ‘hero’ as I believe it can be overcome if you will read this essay and reconsider my application. I also believe that endurance is a quality that an applicant must have to be successful in this process and I hope that you will allow me to re-present myself to you. Further, my high aspirations of attending Monmouth are what allow me to write to you today.

At first glance, you may wonder how I even had the courage to apply to Monmouth University in the first place — I have an imperfect school record and my SAT’s are not up to par. Yet I am asking you to reconsider my application for undergraduate admission to Monmouth University based on some pertinent information that is not reflected in my original application.

I understand from researching your school that an important criterion for incoming students is a strong work ethic. While my overall scholastic achievement does not adequately demonstrate this, I believe that a closer look at my background exhibits this quality perfectly.

For instance, when I realized that my grades were not as stellar as they could be and could hinder my dream of being admitted to Monmouth, I immediately began to focus on my academic career. I have worked extremely hard recently to improve my lackluster grades – and they have been steadily improving.

Moreover, after not performing as well as I hoped to on the SAT’s, I studied tirelessly and took them again on April 4th of this year. Though I have not received my scores back yet, I believe that this also demonstrates my strong work ethic as I realized that my previous efforts could be improved upon so I undertook this challenge.

Furthermore, in addition to my scholastic improvements, my work ethic is demonstrated in my sports achievement. I am an accomplished cross-country runner who has trained hard to achieve my athletic goals. It is not possible to be a cross-country runner without dedication and a strong work ethic committed to training and improving oneself.

I am attracted to Monmouth University because of the quality academic programs, small classes, excellent sports opportunities, and all around fantastic facilities. Monmouth University has a diverse student body, yet it is not overrun with a massive amount of students. This university has the appropriate combination of the feel of a large university combined with the individual attention (accomplished through small classes) that usually accompanies small liberal arts colleges. This is the type of environment where I can rise to my full academic potential. I am confident that if I am allowed to attend Monmouth University that I will thrive in this atmosphere.

Furthermore, I am very impressed with the community of your school and have been impressed with not only the students that attend Monmouth University, but also with the energy. The enthusiasm that I have encountered from current Monmouth students is unparalleled at any other comparable university. This is a community of which I very much want to be a part.

Additionally, sports are an essential element in my life and Monmouth has excellent offerings in this area. Competitive sports offer camaraderie, recreation, and release. For me, cross-country running has been a confidence builder and a consistent source of fulfillment. I am a very passionate, intense and driven individual who thrives on both challenge and competition. Monmouth University has first rate athletic programs and I would be an asset to your NCAA Division I team. I look forward to continuing to strive for excellence in athletic endeavors and feel that Monmouth University is the place where I can excel. For more information go to

I truly do wish I that I had a 4.0 grade point average and that my SAT scores were phenomenal because then I could possibly have already been admitted to Monmouth University. However, since I do not, I must try another avenue and hopefully this essay will convince you to give my application a second look. I assure you that what I lack in scholastic achievement up to this point, I will make up in the enthusiasm that I put forth into achieving scholastic, as well as athletic, greatness at Monmouth University.

Monmouth University is my first choice university and I promise that your confidence in me would be rewarded with loyalty, dedication and hard work. I would very much welcome the opportunity to attend Monmouth University and sincerely appreciate your taking the time to read this essay. Thank you very much for your consideration.